The Preternatural Pinhead of Envy

The Wild Blue Arm

12/7/10

Sir Cormac von Squawk is on his way to meet his fellow froggy templar Sir Heino von Squawk (no relation) for some competitive fly gigging. However, when he reached their meeting place, Cormac was shocked at the lack of Heino, but otherwise saw no sign of trouble.
After discovering Heino’s picnic basket and fly gigging gear, he continues further up the road in search of his friend, eventually finding Heino’s precious monocle, at which point Cormac draws his longsword in anticipation of an attack. Beyond the reeds and scrub, he hears a rather unusual wet thump/splat followed by a familiar throaty frogitude- “ritter…ritter-ritter.”

This is followed by a mumbled voice “…tony…”, then Heino calling out to Cormac. Leaping to his rescue, Cormac comes upon a rather startling scene- Heino lying of the ground and next to him, a red-skinned demonic lizard-man thing sitting next to him. What’s most startling, however, is the mottled, pale blue arm that has gripped poor Heino by the lip (see illustration). The arm repeatedly flexes spasmodically causing the shoulder to smash the poor Frog Knight on the top of his head rather violently.

Heino is all but cold-cocked and his audience of one appears to be somewhat amused by this. If nothing else, the horned mutant seems content to just sit there while the frog has his brains knocked out by an apparently amputated arm.

“Heino, fear not, for Cormac came to save you!”, says he and advances on the lizard-thing. “Abomination! Why did you strike down poor Heino?” “Tony didn’t hurt froggy! Tony friend!”, the thing replied. Realizing quickly that the mutant was not the cause of this mess, Cormac, in a gesture of knightly generosity and a string of crappy dice rolls, decides to befriend the ingratiating beast and bids his assistance in helping get Sir Heino of Squawk (no relation) back to the aid of the town healer.

However, without warning, Tony the mutant hurls the disembodied arm at Cormac’s big, green head, and absconds with Heino’s pic-a-nic basket into the marshy wild. At this point, Cormac is in a bad mood, having been betrayed by his would-be squire and, in disgust hurls the mysterious arm into Lake Ka before leaping off to Squawk with Heino in tow.

Upon leaving Sir Heino to the skilled hands of the town’s best healer, Cormac flops over to report to Sir Croaky, the Supreme Templar of the Virtuous League of Uttermost Glory. As Cormac explains to Croaky- “…t’was Sir Heino, out to hunt some mighty flies for the coming festivities. A bodiless arm knocked him out!” “A WHAT?!”, Sir Croaky replies. “An arm, Sir. It grabbed his lip like this and punched him like that” says Cormac, miming the incident.

Ultimately, Sir Cormac gets to the heart of the matter- “But Sir, hear my words! This threat can’t be a singular event. Was this the only arm? Why was it hostile? Where is the rest of the body? In how many parts? What shall the LADIES think if they are going to be attacked by one of the more… special parts?” With that, Sir Croaky advises the two of them cogetate on the matter and concoct a plan for investigating and dealing with this errant appendage.

“Ritter-ritter!”

Comments

So, this is really badly written. You should totally try this again or just delete the thing altogether.

The Wild Blue Arm
OculusOrbus

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