The Preternatural Pinhead of Envy

Voorne's Tale

Voorne, a mutant from parts unknown (wink wink), has been captured by the F.O.E. and is being transported to a slave camp (or worse!) when a fortunate mishap occurs. As truck carrying Voorne reaches it’s destination, some incompetent FOEmen fire a rocket at an escaping weaseloid and the truck intercepts said rocket, knocking it on its side, thus freeing young Voorne. However, he has only seconds to spare as more FOEmen are on their way.

OculusOrbus: Cormac was travelling west searching for the owner of the blue arm that his friend and fellow knight Heino had found
OculusOrbus: (Cormac is Khouni)
Ashikaider: Alright
OculusOrbus: He crossed paths with (I forget what) who asked for Cormac’s assistance. His town is bing attacked by the Red Death!
OculusOrbus: Khouni, what crossed your path?
Khouni: A fly
OculusOrbus: A fly!
OculusOrbus: I really should check the game log
Khouni: A flyoid
OculusOrbus: yes
Khouni: He looked tasty to my frog
OculusOrbus: heh
OculusOrbus: As they travelled north a big shitload of gunfire and shouting erupted from the darkness and they were pinned down
Ashikaider: gotcha
Ashikaider: gunfight
OculusOrbus: Someone yelled “get down” and a big explosion went off just beyond their position
OculusOrbus: and a figure hurled over their heads. the one that yelled.
OculusOrbus: Kh, is that about right?
Ashikaider: and an explosion check
OculusOrbus: it’s at night
Khouni: Yes
OculusOrbus: if you check the map, this all happened just south of “Stinkin”
OculusOrbus: NE ka
OculusOrbus: Ka
Ashikaider: found it
OculusOrbus: okay, I think that gts us current
Ashikaider: what next?
OculusOrbus: Next is Cormac’s call. You’ll get here in a second, Ash.
Khouni: Okay
Ashikaider: fine, fine
Khouni: Of course, the valiant Sir Cormac is decidedly cool
OculusOrbus: you and the fly are in kind of a trench
Khouni: Oh, wait, phone call
OculusOrbus: lol
OculusOrbus: okay, I’ll skip to Voorne
OculusOrbus: Ash- you know you’re in some kind of vehicle.
Khouni: Shit. Ilsa.
Khouni: Sorry!
Khouni: I will make it quick
OculusOrbus: no windows, all is blackness
OculusOrbus: Okie doke
OculusOrbus: An ear-shattering explosion splits the air and the vehicle is tossed
OculusOrbus: you get tossed along with it
Ashikaider: I hang on for dear life
OculusOrbus: luckily it gets over with quickly and you realize the vehicle has been knocked on it’s side
OculusOrbus: you also realize the door has been blown open
OculusOrbus: the inside is feintly lit by the outside light
Ashikaider: I climb out making sure my sunglasses are on
OculusOrbus: heh
OculusOrbus: Before you do, you hear gunfire
OculusOrbus: some of which stirkes the truck
OculusOrbus: gotta pee brb
OculusOrbus: back
OculusOrbus: You reach for your sunglasses, but realize they’d been taken from you
OculusOrbus: along with all your other crap
Ashikaider: Not good. I look around the truck
OculusOrbus: You had a fellow passenger that didn’t fare as well as you
OculusOrbus: Dead
OculusOrbus: you also find a lock-box which certainly holds your stuff
OculusOrbus: At some point, could you give a description of Voorne?
OculusOrbus: no rush, though
Ashikaider: I try to open it
OculusOrbus: it’s locked, but you see that the body has a key ring on his belt
OculusOrbus: you also notice that your feet are shackled
OculusOrbus: correction- you are shackled
OculusOrbus: which is what saved your ass
Ashikaider: Voorne is about 5’8", dressed in simple clothes, has short dark-colored hair and has a third arm growing out of his back
OculusOrbus: the body-a guard-wears a black jumpsuit with a hood, his face covered by a black gasmask
OculusOrbus: Otherwise Voorne appears human?
Ashikaider: I go over and grab the keyring. taking my time, I then work my way through the keys to unlock the shackles and lockbox
Ashikaider: pretty much
OculusOrbus: you unlock both
OculusOrbus: there’s all your shit, waiting to be gathered up
OculusOrbus: (Khouni got a call from his doxie, so he might be a while)
Ashikaider: I take my things out of the box, and then pause to take the dead guy’s gas mask, which is put into my backpack
OculusOrbus: Ah, good call!
OculusOrbus: the whole outfit basically resembles a black biohazard suit
OculusOrbus: sort of
OculusOrbus: okay, now what?
Ashikaider: I guess I’ll take the suit as well.
Ashikaider: and it goes into the pack as well
OculusOrbus: You feel like maybe you don’t have the time for that.
OculusOrbus: There’s still a situation erupting outside the truck
Ashikaider: Once that’s taken care of, I look around the area
Ashikaider: right. looking for a place to hide
OculusOrbus: As you start to exit, a figure hurls past the door and you hear “get down!”, followed by tracers whizzing past
Ashikaider: I hit the deck
OculusOrbus: You hear an xcited xchange of dialog just nearby. SOunds like the smae voice you just head
OculusOrbus: heard
OculusOrbus: There are others right nearby
Ashikaider: I try to make my way over to them
OculusOrbus: “Here! And keep your head down!” A hand reaches out to yours and pulls you into a natural trench
Ashikaider: once I’m down, I turn to the one who assisted me and say “Thanks”
OculusOrbus: Next to you are a a frog man and a fly man. Another figure is hauling ass off into the night, presumably the same ass that ran past the truck
OculusOrbus: The frogoid introduces himself as Cormac of the Goodtown of Squawk
OculusOrbus: A knight, or so he claims
Ashikaider: “HI, I’m Voorne.”
OculusOrbus: The other introduces himself as André. He’s a blue-black fly-man from Stinkin
OculusOrbus: That’s about as far as I can go without Khouni
Ashikaider: That’s fine. good start
OculusOrbus: I can goa bit further
OculusOrbus: The gunfire has died down, the explosions have stopped
OculusOrbus: from off in the distance, you hear an unintelligable voice over a PA system ranting about something
Ashikaider: “What was all that about?”
OculusOrbus: André: “Zat is ze Friends of ze Entropiezzz. Zey are very, very bad.”
OculusOrbus: “Zey come from, how you say, ze Waste Land.”
Ashikaider: “Do they dress in black?”
OculusOrbus: “Oui, indeed zey do”
Ashikaider: “One of them had me tied up in that truck up there.”
OculusOrbus: “Oh, dread! But you manage to escape. You are verrrry lucky…man?”
Ashikaider: “Close enough. I’m just a guy, you know?”
OculusOrbus: "Oui, oui. Zere are many “juzt a guy” in zis land"
Ashikaider: “Besides, as long as I have a towel, things never look too bad.”
OculusOrbus: “Monzeur Cormac zay ’e ’elp uz, but now I zink we are too late.”
OculusOrbus: (your tavelling towel?)
Ashikaider: "We’ll never know until we findout
Ashikaider: "
Ashikaider: (Yes)
OculusOrbus: Okay, I suppose we can take a break at this point

Cormac's Quest

Sir Cormac gains a quest from Master Croaky of the Frogs Templar to seek out the owner of the blue arm. Some locals suggest the town of Adastra as a good place to find answers, and so he goes. Along the way he meets André, a [floid], who asks him for help in defending the village of Stinkin against the dreaded Friends of Entropy. As they approach in the dead of night, violence erupts as a weasloid unwittingly draws the Red Death right to them. We leave with Cormac, André and the unknown weasle-man pinned down by gunfire and scary shouting and “be bad.”

Khouni: Okay, so I am Cormac now
OculusOrbus: You always were.
Khouni: Aww
OculusOrbus: When last we met, you were going to formulate some kind of plan
Khouni: Alright
OculusOrbus: and report back to El Supremo
Khouni: I am going to ask for seven of our best men. We will scan the area for further threats.
Khouni: We will also try to locate the source of this evil, or at least trace back from where the arm “walked” here
Khouni: Before doing this, I will wait for Heino to awake
Khouni: He shall answer me some questions first
OculusOrbus: which evil are you talking about?
OculusOrbus: the arm?
Khouni: The arm.
Khouni: It was not nice,
OculusOrbus: heh
Khouni: Austrians or Bavarians?
OculusOrbus: Okay, you are back at the healers. Heino is still bedridden, but awake.
OculusOrbus: I don’t know.
Khouni: Austrians
Khouni: Alright
OculusOrbus: Orions
Khouni: “Heino, my dear friend, I see you have awoken. Capital!”
Khouni: (Orion was the best Sci-Fi series ever)
OculusOrbus: Dude, you should totally introduce that dance at the next big Tanelorn meeting!
Khouni: …
Khouni: yes
Khouni: YES
OculusOrbus: and ask Tabula to dance
Khouni: I can just imagine how messed up this would be
OculusOrbus: heh
Khouni: This, too
OculusOrbus: drunken galyxo
OculusOrbus: Then you and Tabula can make with the gaysexy
OculusOrbus: because Zero won’t doteh galyxo
Khouni: And everybody lived happily after
OculusOrbus: do the
OculusOrbus: Ja
OculusOrbus: btw, did you get that last pic I sent?
OculusOrbus: also, I meant Raumpatrouille Orion. Mea culpa.
Khouni: I now what you meant. And I got the (funny!) pic.
OculusOrbus: He says Fuk Yeh!
OculusOrbus: ha ha ha ha
Khouni: ‘twas funny
OculusOrbus: I don’t pick on him, it’s just that’s what it looked like he was saying.
OculusOrbus: who was the girl?
Khouni: Uhm
Khouni: “rei”, IIRC
OculusOrbus: I can see her underwear
OculusOrbus: Why do you hate Zero?
Khouni: I don’t
OculusOrbus: you do!
Khouni: Dude, you can’t only see her underwear – you can see her tattooed chest!
OculusOrbus: Hawt!
Khouni: Not as hawt as Tabula Rasa
Khouni: Or the Rawk Gawd, even
Khouni: “Now, Heino, if you don’t mind – and even if you do, I feel obliged to say -, I have several questions for you.”
OculusOrbus: true Tabula is uber pretty. I wouldn’t call her hawt, though
OculusOrbus: oh…lol
OculusOrbus: “Continue. You have my attention”
Khouni: "You were attacked by an arm. Do you remember that? It looked like this and punched you like that
Khouni: “And you did scream and shiver like a damsel in distress, if I may say so”
OculusOrbus: brb phone
OculusOrbus: back
Khouni: uhm, you are quick!
OculusOrbus: “You were not there when I was attacke, sir knight. You would not know.”
OculusOrbus: “But I shall set the record straight”
Khouni: “Please do so, my friend.” *smiles charmingly

OculusOrbus: “I was preparing the spot under the big oale tree for our frog gigging, when I heard an odd sound off in the distance”
Khouni: “So you ran off to examine the cause of this disturbanc, I suppose?”
OculusOrbus: “I stepped into the reeds to investigate and came upon an amputated arm. A funkin arm.”
OculusOrbus: “It was all blue and ick like they get when the die. So I thought I should at least return it to it’s owner”
OculusOrbus: when funkins die
OculusOrbus: (he means when humans die, they get uggy looking)
OculusOrbus: (as you know)
Khouni: (I got that )
OculusOrbus: (gaysexy)
OculusOrbus: “And so!”
Khouni: “How come you thought you knew the owner?”
Khouni: “Or did you just take it with you, hoping for the best?”
OculusOrbus: “I didn’t know the owner. Indeed, that was what was tickling my pan”
OculusOrbus: ‘“Who belonged to this arm?” I thunk"
Khouni: “And after a while, the arm began to slap you, I suppose?”
Khouni: (bitchslap)
OculusOrbus: heh
OculusOrbus: “When I picked it up, it grabbed my face like this and hit me like that”
OculusOrbus: “It was splippery from the much and I lost my grip upon it”
OculusOrbus: *muck
OculusOrbus: “For whatever reason, it countinued to assualt me and before I knew it, I was konked”
Khouni: “Poor Heino! How long did this go on?”
OculusOrbus: “Until I heard you. Then I called out and everything went black”
Khouni: “A grave conundrum indeed”
OculusOrbus: “Bastard arm”
OculusOrbus: "Yes. As far as I know, funkin arms do not live after they’ve been seperated from their owners"
Khouni: "Now, Heino, answer this question for me: there was a mutant, referring to itself as “Tony”."
Khouni: (heh)
Khouni: “It instantly accepted me as its rightful owner, and assisted me in freeing you.”
OculusOrbus: “I cannot say. I heard mumbly talk, but couldn’t make out a word until I heard you call out”
Khouni: “But afterwards, it ran off with the beer!”
OculusOrbus: “Zounds, the beer!”
OculusOrbus: “Tony, eh?”
Khouni: “But as you might have noticed already, I was able to save your precious monocle”
OculusOrbus: “I do know of a little mutant pest that goes about by that name…”
Khouni: “Yes, Tony! It was a lizardy demon, one of these roaming fiends.”
OculusOrbus: “Yes, and I thank you for that, good sir”
OculusOrbus: “Some fo the frogwives have made mention. He begs for food or shelter and the shoo him off with a quick toungeblap”
Khouni: “So you know this Tony creature, then? But still, it seemed to be a good natured being.”
Khouni: “Oh, a beggar then. Poor sob!”
OculusOrbus: I know of him, Cormac. Nothing more.
Khouni: “No company for aristocrats”
OculusOrbus: “Indeed”
Khouni: Well, Heino, I thank you for this conversation. May your wounds heal quickly. Sadly, I have to hurry now – our men will ride out for a hunt today
OculusOrbus: “Oh so? A hunt for what?”
Khouni: And the pray shall be this ignorant arm of an ugly commoner
Khouni: or the ugly arm of an ignorant commoner?
Khouni: I don’t know, but hopefully, there’ll be answers at the end of this day
OculusOrbus: lol
OculusOrbus: “Good hopping, sir knight”
Khouni: For now, farewell, my friend, farewell..
Khouni: *splatches away

Khouni: waving his cape
Khouni: wooing the ladies
Khouni: turns back
OculusOrbus: (Your presence is requested at the Temple)
OculusOrbus: heh
Khouni: “Heino! Lest I forget: this shall be a secret”
Khouni: splatches to the temple, of course
OculusOrbus: “It’s in the vault!”
Khouni: Ok, I am in the temple
Khouni: has splatched there!
OculusOrbus: Sir Croaky: “Healer Blixa tells me you found an arm. Can you show it to me?”
Khouni: “No, Sir! It escaped! A mutant flung it into the sea!”
OculusOrbus: (actually, you flung it)
OculusOrbus: (Tony hit you in the head with it)
Khouni: (Oh, ok )
OculusOrbus: ()
Khouni: (anyway, blame the mutie)
OculusOrbus: heh
Khouni: (also, BLIXA?? )
Khouni: (does he live in Nick’s cave?)
OculusOrbus: (It’s all I could think of)
OculusOrbus: lol
OculusOrbus: “Into Lake Ka? I’ll trust that you can find it”
Khouni: looks annoyed “Of course, I can, my lord!”
OculusOrbus: “I’ve made my decision- I want you to get that arm and find out who it belongs to.”
Khouni: “As you command, Herr.”
OculusOrbus: “There is trouble about, as you know. The Red Death is stirring up trouble again”
Khouni: (yay!)
Khouni: “Yes, it’s terrible. Do you think there’s a connection?”
Khouni: (Indians?)
OculusOrbus: “I’m sorry to say that you must do this on your own- we can spare no frogs; they must protect Squawk”
Khouni: “I understand.”
Khouni: more honor for me!
OculusOrbus: “It certainly is possible. I’ll put out word of a missing funkin arm. Perhaps there was an attack that went unreported”
OculusOrbus: (possible connection)
Khouni: "Very well
Khouni: “Is there any support you will grant me? Equipment, perhaps?”
OculusOrbus: “You have all you need. You’ll need to travel lite”
OculusOrbus: “You still have the artifact? The metal egg?”
Khouni: “I do, Herr.”
OculusOrbus: “It may yet prove to be a boon.”
OculusOrbus: (you don’t know what it is"
OculusOrbus: )
OculusOrbus: (no one does)
Khouni: “Your wisdom is infinite.”
Khouni: (ok)
OculusOrbus: “ain’t it?”
OculusOrbus: “You shall leave at first light and return upon the completion of your quest>”
OculusOrbus: (You were hoping for a zap gun, weren’t you?)
OculusOrbus: (ha ha)
Khouni: (of course! Haha)
Khouni: “As you command, mein Herr. I shall get ready.”
OculusOrbus: >ritter ritter<
Khouni: >ritter-ritter<
OculusOrbus: and so you go
OculusOrbus: any questions at this point?
Khouni: Hurray! Into the wild!
Khouni: Nope
OculusOrbus: Off to the lake!
Khouni: My quest is clearly defined
Khouni: I will do as commanded
Khouni: Off to the lake.
OculusOrbus: splatch
Khouni: I look for the arm?
Khouni: Like, in the reed? Maybe it has crawled out?
OculusOrbus: “Beware the Red Death!” they tell you.
Khouni: (what is the RD?)
OculusOrbus: Look for the arm where you threw it in, I reckon
Khouni: Of course
Khouni: First in the reed, than in the water
OculusOrbus: (It’s another name for the Friends of Entropy)
Khouni: (uhm ok)
OculusOrbus: (you have read the rulebook, right?)
Khouni: (just the rules part, really)
OculusOrbus: (silly bitch)
Khouni: (I didn’t expect there was any setting information )
Khouni: Oh no, the DM smiley!
OculusOrbus: heh
OculusOrbus: /clear
OculusOrbus: Okay, so you go to the lake, yes?
Khouni: Of course!
Khouni: I am already there, scanning the reed and the water
OculusOrbus: You see something in the water. Something rising…"
OculusOrbus: Fingertips
OculusOrbus: slowly rising out of the water
Khouni: I swim towards it
Khouni: And stop some metres away, from where I will dive a bit and try to take a look at it
Khouni: Just in case it is a hand-billed manatee, y’know?
OculusOrbus: (it’s like the final scene in Deliverance)
Khouni: They are awful
Khouni: (lol)
OculusOrbus: I’ve heard
OculusOrbus: It rises til you can see it is the hand of the arm
OculusOrbus: unmoving, aside from it rising up
Khouni: I grabbed it
Khouni: Uh, grab
OculusOrbus: heh
Khouni: Damn it, I start confusing time again
OculusOrbus: the arm is stiff, bent at the elbow slightly
OculusOrbus: cold and wet
OculusOrbus: and blue
OculusOrbus: bluish, actaully. kind of a blue-grey
OculusOrbus: as it always appeared
Khouni: I make sure I grab its fingers as well as the end of its shoulder, so it can’t do anything silly
OculusOrbus: done!
Khouni: And swim back to the shore
OculusOrbus: and done!
Khouni: Where I shall keep it warm and hug it
OculusOrbus: just be careful it doesn’t hug back
Khouni: As soon as it is cosy, I interrogate it
Khouni: of course
Khouni: “Thumb is yes, index finger is no. You understand me?”
OculusOrbus: On the shore, you take a closer look. It looks like a funkin arm, of which you are not trribly familiar
OculusOrbus: (no response)
Khouni: “I will bring you back to your body. It is my holy quest to do so. *sighs”
OculusOrbus: “…”
Khouni: “BUT you have to cooperate, little arm.”
OculusOrbus: “…”
OculusOrbus: it seems dead at this point
Khouni: …“you can touch boobs”
OculusOrbus: heh
OculusOrbus: Now to find the body it belongs to
Khouni: Yes.
Khouni: Again, I look for all kinds of traces.
Khouni: Maybe this Tony person knows something
Khouni: I look for anything remotely sentient
OculusOrbus: There are many funkins in Squawk, but there are also funkin villages all over. The Red Death has been making serious trouble for them of late and you, yourself have fought them, as has Heino and the rest. In this time of no fighting,you and Heino were both on leave for a couple of days, and so you were fly gigging.
OculusOrbus: You know that no funkins in Squawk were attacked or hurt recently. The Frogs Templar put the kibosh on the Red Death and so they have made themselves scarce in this area.
OculusOrbus: Still, they are a hateful, vengeful lot.
Khouni: I look for the next Funkin village
OculusOrbus: Their leader, Blern, is death incarnate or so they say.
OculusOrbus: Done!
Khouni: I ask if there was any trouble recently
OculusOrbus: A local: “There’s always trouble. Those buttholes won’t leave us be. But they don’t stay long if they think one of you froggies will show”
Khouni: “Well, did you hear of any casualties? For, you see, I found a manless arm”
Khouni: “Is anybody missing, perhaps?”
OculusOrbus: “Nope. Not recently, anyway and that’s been awhile. We accounted for all our dead last time they attacked”
OculusOrbus: “I’d say try out west, maybe. Adastra or like that”
OculusOrbus: “Hell, it’s hard to say, Sir Frog”
Khouni: “I see. Thank you for your advice, good man, I shall venture there. The Knights of Squawk will remember your name.”
Khouni: I go without asking for his name
OculusOrbus: “Vootie!”
OculusOrbus: (not his name)
OculusOrbus: and off you go…
Khouni: To Adastra!
OculusOrbus: If you look on the map, you’ll see Adastra
Khouni: or like that
OculusOrbus: yes
OculusOrbus: you come to a fork in the road, one way continues west, the other branched north
Khouni: mapmapmap
OculusOrbus: map
Khouni: I got it
OculusOrbus: Yes!
Khouni: I stay west in order to reach Adastra
Khouni: ad astra? to the stars?
Khouni: a rocket base?
OculusOrbus: maybe
Khouni shuts up
OculusOrbus: You know Adastra is down river from Lake Ka
OculusOrbus: Those crooked lines on the map are rivers
Khouni: Ah, ok
Khouni: I go there.
OculusOrbus: go where?
Khouni: Adastra?
OculusOrbus: You’re asking?
Khouni: No^^ I just want to go to Adastra. Sounds like an interesting place.
OculusOrbus: Ha ha
Khouni: Maybe they have things that go zap! or zoonz! ?
OculusOrbus: And so down the road you go…
OculusOrbus: sometimes you can see the river from the road, but most times it’s far enough off that you can’t. You can almost always smell it, though
Khouni: Ugh
Khouni: I HATE the river. It smells like a fishwife
OculusOrbus: You know that a trip to Adastra on foot is at least a day’s trip, so expect to camp.
Khouni: I do.
OculusOrbus: remember that fishwife that slapped your pod that one time?
Khouni: hops forth
Khouni: Yes!
Khouni: ‘twas a great experience!
Khouni: Btw, radio is on
Khouni: Zombie Jamboree!
OculusOrbus: as night approaches, you think about making camp off under a tree. You know you’re getting close to Ungatzo Lake, which is north of the road.
OculusOrbus: Hey, cool!
OculusOrbus: I had fun there
OculusOrbus: nice people
OculusOrbus: What dost thou do?
Khouni: Trying to prevent Firefox from crashing
Khouni Has exited the room
Khouni: Trying to prevent Firefox from crashing
Khouni Has entered the room
Khouni: Without success, it seems
Khouni: I will do as you proposed and make camp under a tree
Khouni: Actually, on a tree. I will jump to some high branches
Khouni: Naturally, I will check if the tree is a person first
Khouni: Still there?
OculusOrbus: YES!
OculusOrbus: Tree is tree
Khouni: Capital!
OculusOrbus: you hear a ruckus to the north
Khouni: A ruckus! Oh no!
Khouni: I stay on guard
OculusOrbus: and out of the shadow a figure appears
Khouni: Can I see anything?
OculusOrbus: yes
Khouni: I have no campfire, btw
OculusOrbus: it’s still light out
Khouni: Okay
Khouni: Figure!
Khouni: What kind of figure?
Khouni: A dragon?
OculusOrbus: a man-shape
OculusOrbus: unsteady gait, as though confused as to where to go
OculusOrbus: “You! Up there, I see you!”
OculusOrbus: “They’re coming!”
Khouni: “Who?”
Khouni: “The Red Death?”
OculusOrbus: The voice has a very strange quality to it. Like a buzz
OculusOrbus: “Yes! They are on the move!”
Khouni: “Who are you?”
Khouni: Does he look like a tasty insect?
OculusOrbus: “My name, it is André. I come from ze town call Stinkin”
OculusOrbus: (you can’t tell from there)
Khouni: “That’s far away! You must have been running for quite some time!”
Khouni: I get down
Khouni: “Fear not, citizen. I shall guard you with my sword.”
OculusOrbus: “You cannot hide from them up there. Do you have a conveyance?”
OculusOrbus: “Zat is very brave of you, but there are too many of zem”
OculusOrbus: “Yes, Stinkin, she is far from here, but I try to leave before ze Red Death come”
Khouni: “In this case, we shall run! I have strong legs and I can jump like the wind, but I fear I can not support your weight on my back. Walking will have to suffice.”
Khouni: I ask him to show me a direction he deems safe
OculusOrbus: (as you approach each other, you finally see André’s form. He is a fly-man!
OculusOrbus: )
OculusOrbus: “Oh, dear” says André
OculusOrbus: “I suppose you will eat me now, eh?”
Khouni: “Oh, well, you see…”
Khouni: “I can’t stand eating persons who actually speak.”
Khouni: (is he bigger than I am?)
OculusOrbus: “Ah, very good! I cannot stand ze undigested food to eat. We are both safe…for now”
OculusOrbus: (non)
Khouni: “Perfect”
OculusOrbus: (a little shorter)
Khouni: I look at him like the man in the middle
OculusOrbus: LOL
OculusOrbus: heh
Khouni: But with as much hidden intentions, too
OculusOrbus: He doesn’t really have a face you can read, if you get me
Khouni: Okay
OculusOrbus: “I will tell you, there are ze women and ze children that are attack”
Khouni: “The women attack?”
Khouni: “Or are the women being attacked?”
Khouni: (Both would be horrible)
OculusOrbus: “Ze women, dey are attack!”
OculusOrbus: “Attack by ze Red Death”
Khouni: “Oh no! I have to save them!”
Khouni: “Despite my commands being of another kind… I don’t want them to be angry at Squawk again.”
OculusOrbus: “I will help, if I can, but I can not fight zem alone.”
Khouni: “Oh, the terrible pain of making decisions! Think, frog brain, think!”
Khouni: “Very well, then. Let us fight. For the women!”
OculusOrbus: “No ze childrens?”
Khouni: “Yes, them, too!”
OculusOrbus: heh
OculusOrbus: kitteh
OculusOrbus: “Zis way!”
OculusOrbus: and he leads you up a small hill, off the path
OculusOrbus: the north road goes in between to hills
Khouni: I will get on a hill first
Khouni: To get an overview
OculusOrbus: yes
OculusOrbus: too dark to see very far, but ahead you see flashes of light
OculusOrbus: the terrain is very rough here, with many place to duck and cover
Khouni: Alright, we will do so
Khouni: ANd approach the lights
OculusOrbus: “Zey must be attack from ze desert. SOmetimes zey attack and then go away where we cannot go”
Khouni: “Alright, my friend, stay calm”
OculusOrbus: The flashes are just tiny sparks of light- they are far off, maybe a mile, maybe less
Khouni: “We will subdue them”
Khouni: (does this word even exist?)
OculusOrbus: subdue?
Khouni: yep
OculusOrbus: the terrain descends below a ridge that you can’t see over, but you can hear the faint sound of combat
Khouni: I meant “sneak attacking” them
OculusOrbus: gotcha
Khouni: We will approach them. If possible, we will attack remote targets
Khouni: How many are they, anyway?
OculusOrbus: you climb the rise and as you get near the top, something large and dark hurls over your heads
OculusOrbus: can’t tell yet.
Khouni: Is it Andre?
OculusOrbus: the shape lands behind you with a FUMP
OculusOrbus: no, he’s next to you
Khouni: Okay. This means SHIT!.
Khouni: IturnaroundohmygodIpissedmyarmour
OculusOrbus: in a loud whisper, a voice say “Get your fucking heads down!”
OculusOrbus: lol
OculusOrbus: (It is a stinky badger-man)
OculusOrbus: (and now it’s time for Deo to enter the fray)
OculusOrbus: do we stop now? Is Deo still around?
Khouni: We stop now
Khouni: I don’t know, I left the chat
OculusOrbus: pussy

The Wild Blue Arm

Sir Cormac von Squawk is on his way to meet his fellow froggy templar Sir Heino von Squawk (no relation) for some competitive fly gigging. However, when he reached their meeting place, Cormac was shocked at the lack of Heino, but otherwise saw no sign of trouble.
After discovering Heino’s picnic basket and fly gigging gear, he continues further up the road in search of his friend, eventually finding Heino’s precious monocle, at which point Cormac draws his longsword in anticipation of an attack. Beyond the reeds and scrub, he hears a rather unusual wet thump/splat followed by a familiar throaty frogitude- “ritter…ritter-ritter.”

This is followed by a mumbled voice “…tony…”, then Heino calling out to Cormac. Leaping to his rescue, Cormac comes upon a rather startling scene- Heino lying of the ground and next to him, a red-skinned demonic lizard-man thing sitting next to him. What’s most startling, however, is the mottled, pale blue arm that has gripped poor Heino by the lip (see illustration). The arm repeatedly flexes spasmodically causing the shoulder to smash the poor Frog Knight on the top of his head rather violently.

Heino is all but cold-cocked and his audience of one appears to be somewhat amused by this. If nothing else, the horned mutant seems content to just sit there while the frog has his brains knocked out by an apparently amputated arm.

“Heino, fear not, for Cormac came to save you!”, says he and advances on the lizard-thing. “Abomination! Why did you strike down poor Heino?” “Tony didn’t hurt froggy! Tony friend!”, the thing replied. Realizing quickly that the mutant was not the cause of this mess, Cormac, in a gesture of knightly generosity and a string of crappy dice rolls, decides to befriend the ingratiating beast and bids his assistance in helping get Sir Heino of Squawk (no relation) back to the aid of the town healer.

However, without warning, Tony the mutant hurls the disembodied arm at Cormac’s big, green head, and absconds with Heino’s pic-a-nic basket into the marshy wild. At this point, Cormac is in a bad mood, having been betrayed by his would-be squire and, in disgust hurls the mysterious arm into Lake Ka before leaping off to Squawk with Heino in tow.

Upon leaving Sir Heino to the skilled hands of the town’s best healer, Cormac flops over to report to Sir Croaky, the Supreme Templar of the Virtuous League of Uttermost Glory. As Cormac explains to Croaky- “…t’was Sir Heino, out to hunt some mighty flies for the coming festivities. A bodiless arm knocked him out!” “A WHAT?!”, Sir Croaky replies. “An arm, Sir. It grabbed his lip like this and punched him like that” says Cormac, miming the incident.

Ultimately, Sir Cormac gets to the heart of the matter- “But Sir, hear my words! This threat can’t be a singular event. Was this the only arm? Why was it hostile? Where is the rest of the body? In how many parts? What shall the LADIES think if they are going to be attacked by one of the more… special parts?” With that, Sir Croaky advises the two of them cogetate on the matter and concoct a plan for investigating and dealing with this errant appendage.



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